


happy

by kittysprinkles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean/Cas undertones, M/M, season 13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 17:58:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13036431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittysprinkles/pseuds/kittysprinkles
Summary: In which Castiel is back, and Dean is processing.Or, Everyone is fine except Dean who is pining and scared.





	happy

As soon as Dean picked up that phone, everything froze. Well, everything but the impala going 40 over the speed limit. He didn’t hear Sam screaming at him to slow down and explain, he didn’t hear he honks from the other drivers he was supposed to be sharing the road with, all he could hear was his heart thudding in his ears and Cas’s voice echoing in his head like a gunshot.  
They made it to Cas in what felt like seconds, but was actually a little over two hours. Dean had his suspicions that the person he was speed demoning it to was not Cas, of course he did, how could he not? But the second he got out of the car and saw the coated figure turn to face him, he had no doubts. He knew it was him. There was no Lucifer, there was no shapeshifter, there was nobody but Cas.  
Dean stepped forward and met Castiel in the middle for a bruising hug. The air was knocked out of Dean due to the sheer force of it and he didn’t even care. It was all the more proof that Cas was here. He was here and he was solid and he came back. Dean felt the tears prickle the backs of his eyes as instead of holding them back like he had for weeks, he let them go. He took a deep breath as he cried into Castiel’s neck and gripped the back of his trenchcoat hard enough to white his knuckles. After a while, Cas lifted his head from where he had buried his face in Dean’s shoulder to look at Sam. They made eye contact and he willed Sam to understand that Dean needed this and that Sam would ruin it if he cleared his throat to break them apart as he so often did. And thanks to the Grace of God or whoever else, Sam understood and he let them be until Dean’s sobs dulled and he was able to pull away and look the angel in the eye.   
“Don’t do that again. Capice?” he pointed a finger at the angel while he wiped at his face with his other hand.   
“Yes, I capice.” he smiled and gently pushed Dean aside to hug Sam. Sam clapped his back and when they pulled apart, he suggested he drive the rest of the way home so Dean could relax and Cas could explain. They agreed and piled into the impala.   
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Since Cas returned, Dean touched him a lot more. They were small, almost unnoticeable touches, but of course, Cas noticed. His skin tingled when Dean would place a hand on his shoulder, or push their thighs together in a musty booth of a diner. He swore he could feel Dean physically relax when they were hunting and Dean would take a brief second to reach down and squeeze Castiel’s hand, when he knocked their ankles together under the table as their little makeshift family sat down to have dinner in the bunker almost every night.   
Life was good for them, and Dean was happy. For the most part. Castiel could still sense the longing and the sadness and the overwhelming sense of loss that enveloped Dean, though. He felt it when Dean touched his shoulder or brushed his fingertips over Castiel’s hand. It was the worst when everyone would turn in for the night and Dean went to his room alone. It was as though Dean was scared to be by himself. Ironic, Castiel thought, that the man who so bravely sacrificed himself to demons, angels and monsters for his family was so scared of alone time. 

It was late, 2am to be exact, when Castiel heard the small ping of his cell phone.   
From: Dean   
Hey… are you awake?  
Wait, nvm dumb question. 

Castiel felt his lips quirk up as he tapped his phone to reply  
From: Cas   
Are you alright?

From Dean:  
Yeah, im fine. Just wanted to talk to you is all.

It went on like that for hours, they texted about nothing and everything, planned meals, poked fun at Sam, talked about Jack (Dean was actually starting to like the kid now. And everything else now that Cas was back, to be fair). Dean wasn’t aware that his eyelids were drooping until his hands became weak and his phone slipped out of his fingers and slapped in directly between his eyes. He swore as he jolted awake and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He typed out a quick reply to Cas, telling him he was exhausted and that he needed to sleep.

He knew this wasn’t real.he knew this was a dream and he knew that Cas wasn’t still dead. But it felt too real to be comfortable. The cold of the body, the blood stains on his jeans and boots and hands, the icy wind in the air and the raw throat from the crying and screaming. His throat wasn’t even the most painful. Neither were the rocks digging into his knees. Or the hot tears on his freezing face. No, the most painful was quite poetic. Horrific, but poetic. He’d read it somewhere in one of Sam’s dumb girl books. His heart felt like it was suffocating.   
He has watched Cas die over and over and over again. But it never felt this perminate. It never felt this real.   
Dean woke with a start, feeling his chest heaving and eyes stinging. The name died on his lips as he heard an insistent tap on his door  
“Dean? Are you okay? I heard you yell. Are you hurt?” Cas sounded scared. Cas. of all people. Dean should be the worried mother hen here; Cas just came back from the dead for sh*t’s sake. 

Things were not good. And Dean knew they wouldn’t be for some time. But Cas being back… that was a huge win for them. He knew that whatever needed to be done, he could do it. Because of Cas. for Cas. 

The end


End file.
